South ‘n France Presents: An Almost Entirely Fictitious Account Inspired by and Adapted From: uncyclopedia.org
Origin: The term “bon bon” comes from a phrase uttered by the Greek Goddess, Eurynome, Goddess of All Things, when she created these delectable chocolate confections, thus making perfect order out of the Chaos she formerly reigned over.
The Early Years: The bon bon took off immediately. In fact, within two years, the bon bon was at the top of the delicious charts. They were ravenously consumed by housewives, divas, and goddesses everywhere until they almost went into extinction in the 1600s. Fortunately, they made a comeback in the late 1700’s when Marie-Antoinettte said of the French peasants: “Let them eat cake!” The French were so incensed they refused to eat cake and started eating bon bons in abundance. The literal translation of “bon bon” from French is “goody goody”. Need we say more?
The Middle Years: Unfortunately, nothing significant happened involving the bon bon during this period of time. Except that whole “bon bons go on a magical adventure to save the universe thing”, but you don’t want to hear about that, do you?
The Bon Bon Today: Recently, interest in the bon bon has increased dramatically with the creation of South ‘n France Bon Bons. Tired of a stressful lifestyle in New York City, Charlene Dupray lamented one evening that life would be so much sweeter if she could spend the rest of her days reclining on a divan eating bon bons while reading juicy books. Ever the romantic Frenchman, husband Pascal Siegler immediately set out to make that dream come true. So far, Charlene has eaten plenty of bon bons; the relaxing, reclining part has yet to happen.
The Future of the Bon Bon: There will be no future for bon bons unless you stop reading this, call South ‘n France, and order as many bon bons as you can fit into your freezer!
The Moral of This Story: Eat a bon bon or suffer the fate of Marie-Antoinette.
Were you aware that…
- 750 billion people over the years have given away their first born for just one more deliciously tasterific bon bon?
- Bon bons in large quantities have the power to fuel a jumbo jet for eight days?
- In 1965, a fifty-five-year-old Chinese bon bon gave birth to a healthy chocolate rabbit?
- Bon bons are known to cure severe depression?
- Bon bons are one of the four major food groups of modern-day goddesses?
- Bon bons can travel through time?